He reminded himself that he was doing it for Sam when the motel owner stroked Dean’s arm. Got them another night in the room when the money Dad left for them ran out.
He reminded himself that he was doing it for Sam when he drove out to the park and braced himself against the frame of the swing set. The wad of cash that the nameless middle-aged man tossed at him after he pulled out of Dean would be enough to pay for Sam’s permit test and buy them dinner after he passed it.
He reminded himself that he was doing it for Sam when hustling pool wasn’t cutting it, when credit card fraud wasn’t cutting it, and Dean waited in the bar bathroom. His legs were jelly and he couldn’t wash the salty, bitter taste of come out of his mouth, but it’d keep Sam afloat while he left for a hunt with Dad.
He reminded himself that he was doing it for Sam when he found that Sam up and left one afternoon, took a bus down to California without bothering to leave a note. It left a taste in his mouth worse than any stranger’s jizz.